The Challenge

Confessions of <Insert Child’s Name> Mom

You’ve probably heard it said “Just you wait until you’re a parent someday!” Well according to my mom, I was a “little sweetheart” (that’s actually what she called me) who according to her rarely needed disciplined. Fast forward 32 years, and now as a mother of two boys (ages 3 & 4) there are some days when I just ask “Why Lord?” “Why do I have the challenging child? This doesn't seem fair!” For instance, it may or not be my child that when I take him to a class with his peers he’s the one who is running circles around the room instead of sitting for story time, and who hits, or throws a tantrum – or runs away on your way out thinking it was the perfect time to play “Hide – and Mommy Can’t Seek”. And you finally find him on the other side of the building as he is laughing and thinking that was such great fun. And you are dragging said child out of the building screaming, along with his brother also screaming, and not looking up because you just want to get to the van and drive away. And then a few days later, he is the child who runs in front of a truck on the street as you are yelling, then screeching  "STOP!" And you get home shaking only to have him try to climb over the top of the stairway's banister head first.

But I have finally come to the place, with the Lord’s help, to see that if I did have that “perfect” child it would be so easy to become prideful and look at others and say “Well, what is she doing wrong?” Instead, I am continually humbled by my child(ren) and instead I choose to be thankful that I have the challenging child who pushes and tests each and every boundary because I realize I cannot do this on my own. I need the Lord’s strength, patience and LOVE to flow through me each and every day. And I need to trust the Lord with my children's safety as well. I do my very best as a mother to keep them from harm's way, but ultimately I have to commit them into the Lord's hands because He has kept them safe even when I was a few feet behind.

Don’t get me wrong, there are precious, sweet moments I share with my boys that melt my heart and remind me that this is why I absolutely love being a mom. Moments when they come up to me and say “Mommy, I love you!” and give me a big hug.

But too often I let those frustrating moments overshadow it all. The days when I have had to discipline my child for the same thing, for the 20^th time in the past two hours, where I feel overwhelmed and insufficient as a mom. So slowly, over the past couple months, ok maybe weeks, ok maybe days, instead of reacting in anger by yelling or just throwing my hands up in frustration and just “surviving” to the end of the day, I have been doing my best to first and foremost turn to my Savior and be so in love with Him that those things that I have been yearning for and trying to do on my own “love, joy, patience, kindness, self-control” have flowed  much more easily – but only with the power and fruit of the Spirit. 

So if you are feeling overwhelmed, insufficient as a mom, or maybe feeling like you have it all together but still feel empty inside, maybe it’s time to be quiet, open the Word and let His Love Flood In.

Galatians 5:22-23

^“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”