Discussion – Time & Presence (Being a Present Parent)
Note: See my first post from today for a little more explanation of where these entries are coming from!
April 6, 2011
"As a work from home mother of two young toddlers, I find I get distracted by having my work computer right in our living room so it’s too easy to hop on the computer and work off and on throughout the day which is great, but it also makes it too easy to then get involved with checking my work and then personal emails, facebook, etc. And before I know it, an hour has gone by... The idea of being “unplugged” so I can be in the moment with my children when my energy levels are high and my mood is right is something I want to improve on. I think for me, just turning off the computer monitors and screening my calls and not having a kid’s video playing - even if it is for 15-30 minutes at a time to just be there with my kids will be something invaluable that I will look back on and cherish. They say these years when they are small goes by way too fast and I want to enjoy my kids as much as possible and instill in them that they are valued and loved and that spending quality time with them is important to their mom.
Since my boys are only two and one, they can’t tell me all that they enjoy doing quite yet, but I do know they LOVE to read and I try to spend time reading to them before nap time and before bed time. They sit in my lap and I let them pick the books they want to read, even if it means reading the same one over and over. Another thing I have done a few times, is have an actual “tent” time where we built a tent in our living room with a table and blankets. I am going to do this more often because not only does it literally shut out distractions, but it will bring me closer with your children and make it easier to “be in the moment” with my kids. I built a tent for my two year olds birthday in February. We had so much fun. We giggled and laughed all morning. I agree that shared laughter is something that is so powerful and deeply connecting and personal. I kind of feel like laughing with my children is a way I can communicate love to them beyond communication barriers even at such a young age.
I also liked the idea of a “mini-date” to the store with my kids. Right now it is really tough to take my kid’s with me as they are two and one and quite a handful when together so I end up going when Isaac is home to watch them. But I think if I took one of them, for a short amount of time, it could be a really fun experience. I also enjoy taking my boys to our backyard but usually let them run around on their own while I sit there an watch, because I am so tired! LOL! But I think by taking a few minutes with each of them while out there to point certain things out like flowers, birds or leaves it could make even something small like that feel more special for them and myself. Again, like Dr. Reivich said (paraphrasing of course), take advantage of what you have available in the real world and transform these every day moments into something sustaining for our kids.”
Since my boys are only two and one, they can’t tell me all that they enjoy doing quite yet, but I do know they LOVE to read and I try to spend time reading to them before nap time and before bed time. They sit in my lap and I let them pick the books they want to read, even if it means reading the same one over and over. Another thing I have done a few times, is have an actual “tent” time where we built a tent in our living room with a table and blankets. I am going to do this more often because not only does it literally shut out distractions, but it will bring me closer with your children and make it easier to “be in the moment” with my kids. I built a tent for my two year olds birthday in February. We had so much fun. We giggled and laughed all morning. I agree that shared laughter is something that is so powerful and deeply connecting and personal. I kind of feel like laughing with my children is a way I can communicate love to them beyond communication barriers even at such a young age.
I also liked the idea of a “mini-date” to the store with my kids. Right now it is really tough to take my kid’s with me as they are two and one and quite a handful when together so I end up going when Isaac is home to watch them. But I think if I took one of them, for a short amount of time, it could be a really fun experience. I also enjoy taking my boys to our backyard but usually let them run around on their own while I sit there an watch, because I am so tired! LOL! But I think by taking a few minutes with each of them while out there to point certain things out like flowers, birds or leaves it could make even something small like that feel more special for them and myself. Again, like Dr. Reivich said (paraphrasing of course), take advantage of what you have available in the real world and transform these every day moments into something sustaining for our kids.”April 7, 2011
"I have been trying to incorporate some of the things I learned during the webinar to my life and family. A couple things that really resonated with me were just spending times with my boys where we are unplugged from media.Another was the tent idea. This has been something really fun for me and my boys. I enjoy building forts with blankets and a card table, etc. but don't have the time/energy to do that every day. So we've mostly been using our Thomas the Train pop-up tent. It's quick, easy and has the same effect. I'm not able to squeeze all the way in, but both boys fit in and I play with them by sticking my head and upper body in. They think it is sooo funny. We giggle and laugh and sometimes bring books in the tent, or a toy or two.
But mostly it is just the experience of laughing and being together. I am finding I can do this daily or several times throughout the week. They even drag it out and want me to help them put it up. Such precious times and memories that I will treasure in my heart. Here is a photo from today. Pretty cute if I say so myself. :)"
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